Categories
The Merry Grammarian

Chasing the Grammar Ghost

My sister gave me a fantastic present for my birthday last month: A T-shirt that says, “I hope I can still correct people’s grammar when I’m a ghost.”

I laughed, and then asked her where she found such a thing. As it turns out, grammar-related novelty items—T-shirts, mugs, joke books, hats, bookmarks, posters, pillows, even socks—are for sale all over the Internet. They’re funny and varied, from puns about punctuation to jokes like the one on my T-shirt.

The fact that there’s an entire cottage industry dedicated to grammar puns says something interesting: there are a lot of people out there who care about good grammar.

And it’s not just the obsessive amongst us. Studies show that people do actually judge us on our grammar skills—even if they aren’t necessarily good at grammar themselves.

Bad grammar in a cover letter or email can cost you job opportunity. Poor grammar in an op-ed piece or article can cost you your credibility. Query letters or manuscripts riddled with proofreading errors are likely to be red flags for agents and editors. Even a social media post with poor grammar will make people cringe.

Is it fair that people judge you for your grammar? Maybe not. But since the reality exists, why not take a few minutes to brush up on the grammar questions that you’re not certain about?

I find that pretty much everyone has a secret grammar question they want to ask, but are too embarrassed to do so. There’s a mentality out there that we were supposed to have mastered all the grammar rules by tenth grade or so, but the truth is, hardly any one knows all the rules. (Okay, maybe Strunk and White. But the rest of us mere mortals most certainly have a few gray areas). Instead of letting that grammar ghost haunt you, lay the issue to rest once and for all.

I’d like to invite you to send your grammar questions my way. From punctuation problems to commonly confused words (like that pesky affect and effect), send your queries via vwswriters@gmail.com and I’ll get you squared away.

And I won’t tell a soul it came from you.

Categories
Blog The Whole Writer

Plein Air Writing

Painters do it regularly. In fact, they started the whole idea of Plein Air—painting what you see in the moment.

We writers can do the same. Find a favorite spot outdoors, get comfortable with your notebook or computer, and describe the moment—write what you see, feel, hear, and smell.

Now is the ideal time for getting outdoors to enjoy the warm temperature, blooming flowers, and fresh air cleaned by the recent rains.

Share with your readers the delights ofspringtime in the Ozarks!

Categories
Blog From the Forge

The Humanity of Anton Chekov

Anton Chekov is widely recognized as a master of short fiction. It is interesting that many people seem to dislike Chekov’s short stories because they tend to be open ended, lacking a comfortable, reassuring resolution. But Chekov’s place in the pantheon is secure.

In a recent article in The New Yorker, Siddahartha Mukherjee claims that Chekov “invented a new kind of literature at Sakhalin. It was a literature inflected with clinical humanity—a literature of keen, nearly medical observation about human nature and its imperfections and perversions, but also a literature of expansive sensitivity and tenderness.”

Sakhalin is the Russian island where Chekov spent three months at a penal colony, observing the suffering and the extreme depravity of humanity. His time there became a turning point in his life and his writing.

Mukherjee quotes Chekov as saying, “Six principles that make for a good story . . . are: 1. Absence of lengthy verbiage of a political-social-economic nature; 2. total objectivity; 3. truthful descriptions of persons and objects; 4. extreme brevity; 5. audacity and originality . . . and; 6. compassion.”

The second and third of Chekov’s principles, “total objectivity” and “truthful descriptions,” no doubt come from his being a physician with a scientific turn of mind. But the last two, “audacity and originality” and “compassion,” are perhaps the cause of his being so widely loved.

His “audacity and originality” are part of why he insisted on the open endings of his stories. Open endings were not popular in the Victorian Period. Chekov provides fully realized characters in a tragic situation, but offers no resolution. The reader must search for resolution in his or her own understanding. But Chekov’s compassion for his characters, his intense feeling that they are simply human beings trapped in their circumstances, driven by their desires, endears him to readers. He does not judge his characters. He leaves judgment to the reader. But his sympathetic treatment challenges readers to look in the mirror before they judge.

Categories
The Merry Grammarian

The Singular Use of “They”

We grammarians love to talk about the “rules” of grammar, as though grammar is something firm and unchanging. But the truth is, grammar—like the English language itself—is always evolving, and sometimes we have to adjust to a new way of thinking and writing.

Behold, the latest evolution in grammar: the use of “they” as a singular pronoun.

For example: “Someone called, but they didn’t leave a message.”

Per strict grammar rules, “someone” is a singular noun, and therefore should correspond with one of the singular pronouns: he, she, or it, as in “Someone called, but he or she didn’t leave a message.”

But linguists now acknowledge that such a construction is awkward, and that using “they” can also be more inclusive than simply using “he” or “she.” “They” was even deemed the Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society last year, specifically because of the rise in the use of “they” as a singular pronoun.

The reasoning behind this is that the English language, unlike many other languages around the world, does not have a gender-neutral pronoun. Yet writers still face situations where the gender is unknown, as in our example above, or where the person they’re writing about wants to stay anonymous or if the author wants to protect their identity.

For a long time, people turned to “he,” in such instances, but all the major style guides now discourage that because it can be construed as sexist, and using “she” alone is really no better. So, in certain cases, using “they” simply makes sense.

This doesn’t mean you want to throw away all your pronoun rules – in general, it’s better to aim for a construction where singular nouns are linked to singular pronouns (he, she, it), and plural nouns get plural pronouns (they, them, we). You’ll also definitely want to avoid referring to named individuals as “they” – instead, use their given names.

But you can now safely use “they” when using nouns like everyone, no one, or anyone, when the gender of the person you’re writing about is unknown, or if you prefer not to reveal the gender of that person for some reason.

Now, be aware that some people dislike this use of “they,” or will claim it’s grammatically incorrect. But rest assured—you are well within your grammatical rights to use “they” as a singular pronoun whenever it feels appropriate.


Editor’s Comment:
This has always been such a troubling writing dilemma. I’m so glad to learn of the change! Thank you, Rebecca.  — Alice

Categories
The Merry Grammarian

Staying Mindful of Initial –ING Verbs

As writers, we’re often taught to vary our sentence construction. Sentences that are always the same length, with the same general syntax, are boring. Good writing has a rhythm, and part of that rhythm comes from using a mix of dependent and independent clauses, lists, prepositional phrases, and more.

One of the more common ways we vary our sentences is by beginning with an –ING verb. For example:

  • Glancing toward Ella, I realized her eyes were filled with tears.

This use of the initial –ING verb is great—it’s got action, it’s interesting and it’s a nice way to vary your writing.

But there’s one tiny grammar issue you need to watch out for here: making sure the action you describe in the first half of the sentence can be performed simultaneously as the action in the second half of the sentence.
Bear with me.

In our example above, about Ella, that works because you can both glance and realize at the same time. Those actions can be done simultaneously, so that construction works just fine.

  • But if I wrote this—Crossing the room for my phone, I pressed two on my speed dial—it couldn’t work, because you can’t cross the room AND press two at the same time. The construction makes it seem like they’re happening at the same time, though logically, they can’t be.

The rule here is straightforward:

  • When starting with an –ING verb, if the actions can be performed at the same time, then you’re good to go. Otherwise, try revising.

We could rewrite this phone sentence pretty easily: “I crossed the room and pressed two on my speed dial.” Now, it’s clear those two actions are separate. If you really wanted to keep the initial –ING construction, you could do something like this: “Crossing the room for my phone, I wondered if Jonathan would answer a call from me.” Since those actions can be done simultaneously, it works.

Let’s look at one more example:

  • Shrieking with joy, I leaped from the couch. This works because you can shriek and leap at the same time.
  • Racing down the hall, I dashed through the door on the left. This is incorrect – the person is in the process of running down the hall, so she can’t also be dashing through a door at the same time.

A simple rewrite will do: I raced down the hall and dashed through the door on the left. Yes, we had to give up that initial –ING construction, but since it wasn’t working anyway, at least now we’re grammatically correct.

And that’s always a good way to be.